Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Eau de Stripper...

Scenario: Ever since we finished high school, my friend Jason makes a trip into town most Decembers to visit his family and I. He decided to tag along with me one day this past December while I finished up some holiday shopping. I should note that Jason is fun, smart, super observant and saves time by saying exactly what the thinks.

Me: Do you mind if we pop into this store real quick? There's some girlie girls on my list yet...
Him: Sure, I can look at girl stuff all day long.
Me: Ok cool. Looks like they have lots of shiny, smelly things in this bath and body store.
(We walk in and start looking around. We peruse lots of fruity lotions and dusky, sexy sprays...) 
Me: Ya know, I guess picking out scents for other girls isn't the best idea.
Him: You could always buy some candles, can't go wrong wit... Hey, look! It's spray glitter! Ya know, like strippers wear! I love this stuff!   
Me: Oh. Yeah. Huh! Minus the booze and cigar stench...  
(I look around the crowded store and feel the sudden burning glare of the sales girl handing out straw baskets)
Him (taking in a big whiff from a tester bottle): Mmmmmm. I love the way strippers smell. And this is affordable stuff! It smells good and it's cheap enough to use everyday to grind on old guys.
(Random female customers push past us and roll their eyes.)
Me: Ya know, it's refreshing that you're so honest! Though the girls on my list aren't strippers... so I think I'm ready to go.
Him: Okay sure. Where are we going next?


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