Thursday, June 03, 2010

An act of Fumigation: Lysol vs. Smelly Cat

In the middle of a sneezing fit backstage at rehersal, it occurred to me that my body was reacting to a single allergy trigger: icky cats. Not only am I allergic to cats, I have no desire to ever befriend one. If cats were slightly bigger, I'd punch them all in the face.

So a fellow actress asked what all my fuss was about...

Me (puffy-eyed, sneezing): I think there's a cat or two living backstage. It really smells like cat.
Her: Really? (sniffs the air and appears not to notice the stench) Hmmm. I have a cat but never noticed a scent. What do cats smell like?
Me (internal dialogue): Catnip, slimy hair balls, rotten allergens, garbage and ass.
Me (external dialogue): I'm not sure how to fully describe it, but I just know...

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