Tuesday, October 21, 2008

By request: Things that make me pee my pants.

This new blog category (TTMMPMP) is brought to you by Heather, who thinks it should have it's very own post label. (told ya she was smart!) And it's true, how else can you earmark those hysterical nuggets of wisdom from the nerds, the crack pot advice from your elders or treasured inebriated conversations? You know, the epic go-rounds with your friends that make you laugh harder than that time coffee came shooting out of your nose?

With that, I have to dish about what made Heather pee her pants: a recent HSG night. "What the hell is an HSG" you may inquire? It's a High School Girl's Night, you retard. Duh!

From Heather:
So Friday I had a HSG night. I know, gay but anyhoo... One of the girls was talking about Halloween and how she had found a pink taffeta dress that belonged to one of our other friends. She tried it on thinking it would make for a funny costume and instead, she kept saying how impressed she was that it still fit her 15 years later.

To kick things up a notch I said, "Yeah well our friend Jenny wasn't that thin. If you want some real pride, try my Junior prom dress on. I weighed 95 pounds... and besides you'll be so glamorous and spark-a-lee!" We all laughed a little and blew it off. It was good to see my old HS Girlfriends, and we just kept gabbing and drinking wine.

I kid you not, 20 minutes later she asked to try on my prom dress, a tight blue and black sparkly frock with spaghetti straps. At least it was until she put it on. After that it turned into some type of Dancing with the Stars cha cha competition dress. We laughed more, and I opened another bottle of wine.

She proceeded to put it on over her bra and couldn't really zip it but didn't really seem to care. She looked in the mirror and moved her hair clips to the side in an attempt to make big hair like I had that night. She sat in it, unzipped and happy most of the night and continued to enjoy her wine. Did she look like me in that dress? Aside from the big hairdo, it was really hard to tell.

I have never laughed so hard, well except for when she put her leg on the table to shake her groove thing and got cold. Then she decided that she needed my letter jacket to complete the ensemble and warm up. Seriously, can you believe that?

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