Cabernet Franc: The man who never calls...

He's simply insensitive... consistent only in his utter disappointment and failure to deliver. Yet given my general disdain for Cabernet Franc, you'd probably call me insane for not writing him out of my life completely. It matters not who makes it, or what part of the world he's from, Cab Franc continues to dissatisfy.

And still, I digress. Every attempt at our affair always begins the same way. At first, I'll admire him from a distance... compliment his deep, hypnotic color, inhale his lush bouquet with a smile, swish him around in my glass and admire those strong, promising legs. I'm uncontrolably excited by now, engulfed with anticipation of what's to come. With butterflies in my stomach, I raise my glass to my lips, eager for a taste of what has culminated into everything I've always wanted. Then I close my eyes, drink him in and just completely cringe.

Ultimately, I spit it out or swallow with disgust. Given this, I can't explain why I'll try it again from time to time. Perhaps deep down I think he'll change. I want to believe the charming promises of something so good and long lasting. And on the surface he vows to be better than all the others (varietals). At first glance, what's not to love?

Knowing better from one bitter experience after another, I find myself at a low point in this rocky relationship with ol' Franc, and I've asked my friends what they think I should do. As it turns out, everybody knows a Cab Franc who is perfect. One with backbone and longevity yet gentle enough to be charming, pleasant and likeable. They tell me to keep looking, they say he's out there somewhere. I know no such animal, the Cab Franc they describe is a farse, much like the perfect man who calls promptly after a great first date. No, Cab Franc is wreckless with my emotions and can't be trusted. Shamelessly and without remorse, he'll let you down you at the first opportunity. Cab Franc is a prick.

I'm wasting my precious tastebuds, he is yet to live up to anything he has promised. He's delivered supreme discontent to most in his path, particularly the unfortunate believers in him who have nothing left but a bad taste in their mouth. This is a good time to spit.