Thursday, August 05, 2010

Bleed it Out, Dig it Deeper...

She worked with a sudden intensity as she bore a thick 18 gauge needle deep in to the flesh of my right arm. I winced and observed her attempt to dig into the already buried blue-green vein. She anxiously jammed the needle to the left, then deeper to the right nervously trying to secure a connection to her ridiculous selection of a vein. I let out a deep breath and rolled my eyes. I stared off into the white clouds of nothingness drifting outside the window, annoyed to find myself in this familiar, unfortunate predicament.

Just then, as if she heard me complete this thought, she muttered, "Looks like you're on a three day infusion roll. Just like old times, huh Ms. C?" I closed my eyes and pretended not to hear her. I just stayed lifelessly frozen in that awkward recliner for the next hour. (Warning! Incoming rant!) Anyone who thinks my life is all shopping and cocktail hours needs to hang with me on dark days like this. And everyone else should just let me be... so I can attempt to devour all the chocolate in sight to get through this bit of a low point. Strangely, it gets me by.

Once the IV machine started a constant beep, it jolted me straight into consciousness where I popped up, and robotically started to gather my things. The nurse came over and spoke with concern over whether or not I should drive myself home. I thanked her politely for all of her suggestions and internally acknowledged that she was only trying to help. "Well," I thought, "I've got two more days of this insanity, I'd better get used to it."

1 comment:

  1. Hey Rhonda,
    Let me know if you need anything, I'm here for you ok?


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