Monday, February 15, 2010

Looking for love in all the wrong places?

If you found yourself alone and/or unsatisfied on yet another annoying Valentine's Day yesterday, I feel for you. Strangely (or not so strangely), I want to help. Though I personally have sufficient special attention for the holiday, I can't help but lend my condolences to the unattached or introverted. Quite possibly caused by years of witnessing my dearest nerds strike out time and again, I want to somehow be of helpful service to the longer term companionship needs of others.

Maybe it's because for many years I have spent February 14th without dinner reservations. I've demanded that dead flowers not be bought in my honor and even once insisted on devouring a sad, sad heart shaped pizza and watched sci-fi reruns in lieu of getting dressed up and going to dinner. Like many, I often think Valentine's Day over commercialized and over done right down to the droves of dead, once lovely roses and the gross surplus of cliche chocolates which are now 50% off.

If people really cared, they'd write you a few lines on random Tuesdays and Fridays. Or tuck a list of all their favorite naughty things into your coat pocket along with a date and time to demonstrate them. Or make a best attempt of preparing a great dinner in your honor. And make you laugh often enough.

But I suppose I can go on and on about what I think people should do in response to Valentine's Day and the need for companionship at many levels on said holiday. And I know very well that it's different for us all. Instead, might I suggest a few ideas on places to look? Oh, I can? Great!

Go to a Book Club Happy Hour Event. More than just going to a bar to meet sloshed potential mates here you can meet interesting people who are also literate, which by my measure is a huge value add. And you can rid yourself of those nervous social jitters with a glass of wine or a cocktail. Plus, you'll have something to talk about: lots of new books! The ever hip Tattered Cover in Denver is hosting one this week. You can read more about it here.

Go to a coffee shop. You never know who you'll bump into at places like The Market, Common Grounds, Paris on the Platte and La Dolce Vita. Eccentrics, creatives and intellectuals alike all need their caffeine fix.

For entertainment purposes only, scan the personals. Goodness knows all the baloney on sites like and facebook where everyone pretends to be perfect is enough to give anyone the hives. Instead, look over the endearing flaws, well constructed humor and witty self depreciating pleas for companionship (and more) in places like the London Review of Books personals. If anything, it serves as a nice confidence boost and a punch line or two at the next social mixer.

Among my faves?
"It’s true. I have more than 200 books about post-revolutionary Russia. It’s my thing. I’m that guy. Write anyway."

Pretty much, you just need to get out. I don't think it really matters as long as you make an effort to leave your house (but not necessarily your comfort zone). You probably already meet people all the time at church, airport/bus stations, library, laundromat, wine/beer tastings, grocery store, post office, whatever. As long as you're outgoing and out and about, you have a shot at love, relationships and sex. So turn off your TV and computer... those super hot elf chicks on WoW are really other men. Seriously.

That's all I've got for now. Happy hunting.

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