Believe it or not

My dance studio is hosting a "Paris Hilton Day." Can you fathom that such a thing exists? Why on Earth would anyone create a day for such a moron?

Because people want to her ghetto-fabulousness. And because like it or not, Paris sells. Bad sex videos aside, every girl likes to indulge in pink drinks, tiaras and sequins. Every girl wants to include on her social resume lap dancing, photo shoots, lessons on posing and the like. Qualifications? Fake tans, designer digs and self-infatuation supreme.

Hypocritical perhaps, but it sounds like loads of fun to me. That's why I've been tasked with doing the makeup segment of Paris Hilton Day. What better way to spend an evening than helping women go from blah to beautiful? If you're already paying to learn to maniuplate men with lap dances, why not learn to manipulate a little glamour? I want to make everybody look fabulous, darling... even if it's only for the camera.

I setup in a studio, get a small team of models to present, and a trusty assistant to make it all happen. (thanks UA!)

Now I just need to find something pink to wear. And speaking of digs, I received an email on how to locate the "I put the HO in HOCKEY" t-shirts. It's simple, just go to HOgear.org. Thanks to reader Vikki Herd for the heads up!